IM with Wolves
by mayellacullen
Summary: A series of Logged IM chat with the werewolves in LA Push? Wow...such weird...tiny...comical things they bicker about. BUT! At least there is always a good laugh :D PLEASE REVIEW! MAYELLA
1. Chapter 1

The IM with Wolves?

BBanger246- Jacob

Total_innocence- Seth

PoLAPush- Leah

Law-breaker- Sam

Dude-wheres-my-car- Quil

Leahsabtch- Paul

Shoot2kill- Embry

Fdonuts- Jared

_BBanger246 signed on_

_Total_innocence signed on_

_[12:29]Total_innocence_: BBanger? Jacob?

_[12:30]BBanger246: _Seth? Total_innocence huh? What, are you scamming on guys?

_[12:30]Total_innocence_: -.-

_[12:31]Total_innocence: _At least I have a life and didn't name my account after _BELLA!_

_[12:31]BBanger246: _shut it!

_PoLAPush signed on_

_[12:32]Total_innocence: _aw crap

_[12:32]BBanger246: _PoLAPush? Who the hell is that?

_[12:33]PoLAPush: _Hey girls!

_[12:34]Total_innocence: _Leah

_[12:34]BBanger246: _Leah

_[12:34]PoLAPush:_ Wow! U guys seem happy to C me!

_[12:35]BBanger246: _News flash! We isn't C-ing you!

_[12:35]PoLAPush: _U know what I mean!

_[12:35]Total_innocence: _Do we?

_[12:36]PoLAPush: _Total_innocence? R u hanging around in gay chats?

_Total_innocence signed off_

_[12:36]PoLAPush:_ What did I say?

_[12:37]BBanger246:_ I asked him the same question

_[12:37]PoLAPush:_ lol

_[12:37]BBanger246:_ What do you want Leah?

_[12:37]PoLAPush: _I want 2 hang out with my friends! Is that so bad?

_[12:36]BBanger246: _Oh yeah…I forgot, yer only friends are on IM's aren't they?

_[12:37]PoLAPush:_ U r such a jerk Jacob!

_[12:37]BBanger246: _CAUSE I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!! CAUSE AT LEAST I KNOW I'M FREE!!!

_PoLAPush signed off_

_[12:37]BBanger246:_ Thank god!

_Law_breaker signed on_

_Leahsabtch signed on_

_Shoot2kill signed on_

_[12:39]Shoot2kill:_ Hey Jake!!

_[12:40]BBanger246:_ Hey Embry

_[12:40]BBanger246:_ Who's Law_breaker?

_[12:40]Leahsabtch: _idk

_[12;41]Law_breaker: _it's Sam

_[12:41]BBanger246: _aren't you a cop?

_[12:41]Leahsabtch: _he's scamming on boys

_[12:41]Law_breaker: _haha…very funny

_[12:42]Leahsabtch: _thank u I've been wanting to say that for like…4 weeks now

_[12:42]BBanger246: _rofl

_[12:42]Law_breaker:_ rofl?

_[12:42]BBanger246:_ Roll on the floor laughing.

_[12:43]Law_breaker:_ In a literal sense no doubt.

_[12:43]BBanger246:_ u know it :D

_[12:43]Law_breaker:_ might ask what's with the : and the D?

_[12:43]BBanger246:_ LMFAO!!! TOTAL IM NOOB!

_[12:43]Leahsabtch:_ lol! Nice

_[12:44]BBanger246:_ It's a freaking smiley face! See it? :D the : r the eyes and the D is the mouth

_[12;44]Law_breaker:_ …

_[12:44]BBanger246:_ …

_[12:44]BBanger246:_ TURN UR HEAD SIDEWAYS!

_[12:45]Law_breaker_: …

_[12:45]Law_breaker:_ OH! I see it now!

_[12:45]Law_breaker:_ That's cute! :D

_[12:46]Law_breaker:_ :D

_[12:46]BBanger246:_ I've created a monster!! XD

_[12:46]Leahsabtch:_ lol

_[12:47]Law_breaker:_ Is that another smiley you use instead of laughing?_[12:47]BBanger246:_ No

_[12:47]BBanger246:_ It's a portrait of my sister

_[12:47]Leahsabtch:_ In bed maybe

_[12:48]BBanger246:_ STFU!

_[12:48]Leahsabtch:_ hey! You set urself up with that 1

_[12:48]BBanger246:_ I know but I dun wanna hear that crap!

_[12:48]BBanger246:_ It's scarring

_[12:48]Law_breaker:_ :D

_[12:49]Law_breaker:_ L

_[12:49]Law_breaker:_ :p

_[12:49]__BBanger246:_ omg! Sam stop!

_[12:50]Law_breaker:_ :(

_[12:50]BBanger246:_ that's it. I'm running ur dog over with the rabbit

_[12:50]Law_breaker:_ D:

_BBanger246 signed off_

_[12:51]Leahsabtch:…_

_[12:51]Leahsabtch:_ dude…I think he's really gonna do it

_[12:51]Law_breaker:_ D:

_[12:51]Law_breaker_: NO! MUPPY IS ACTUALLY OUTSIDE!

_BBanger246 signed on_

_Law_breaker signed off_

_[12:51]BBanger246:_ Damn internet!

_[12:51]BBanger246:_ Dude where B Sam at?

_[12:51]Leahsabtch:_ To let his dog in cuz he thinks yer gonna actually run him over

_[12:52]BBanger246:_ O.O

_[12:52]BBanger246:_ WHY WOULD I RUN OVER MUPPY!!!

_[12:52]BBanger246:_ I luv Mup's! I wouldn't hurt him!

_[12:52]Leahsabtch:_ I know

_Law_breaker signed on_

_[12:53]Leahsabtch:_ Wb

_[12:53]Law_breaker:_ ty

_[12:54]Law_breaker:_ Damn jake! He's such a jerk!

_[12:54]Law_breaker:_ no good lieing sack of bone

(In a separate IM to Paul from Jake)

_[12:54]BBanger246:_ He's gonna talk crap about me? Let's see what he says.

_[12:54]Leahsabtch:_ kk

(In original)

_[12:54]Law_breaker:_ Do you even like him? I personally wouldn't mind busting his skull off the road right about now

_[12:55]Law_breaker:_ Curb stomp him for his piss poor attitude

_[12:55]Leahsabtch:_ dude

_[12:55]Leahsabtch:_ he is going through a tough time

_[12:56]Law_breaker:_ No need to bring the rest of us down!

_[12:56]Law_breaker:_ If I had the choice to stay around Jake or Leah

_[12:56]Leahsabtch:_ Whoa now

_[12:57]Law_breaker:_ I'd choose Leah!

_[12:57]Leahsabtch:_ Whoa now Sam!

_[12:57]Law_breaker:_ She doesn't whine HALF as bad as Jake!

_[12:57]Leahsabtch:_ ouch

_Leahsabtch signed off_

_[12:58]BBanger246:_ …

_[12:58]Law_breaker:_ Jake?

_[12:58]BBanger246:_ …

_[12:58]BBanger246:_ You'd choose it over me?

_[12:59]BBanger246:_ Tsk tsk tsk

_PoLAPush signed on_

_[13:00]BBanger246:_ Hey! You got yer wish! Congrats!

_[13:00]PoLAPush:_ What?

_[13:01]BBanger246:_ Hey Leah! Sam says he wanted to give you some sweet love earlier when he brought you home in the cruiser but he was too much of a chicken shit so he wants you 2 go over now so he can grind you through the counter.

_[13:01]PoLAPush:_ D:

_[13:02]Law_breaker:_ NO! I DID NOT SAY THAT!

_[13:02]BBanger246:_ Liar! I have it right here!

_[13:02]BBanger246:_ [12:56] Law_breaker: If I had the choice to make out with Leah earlier I would have [12:57] Law_breaker: She has such a fine body [12:57] I'd love to make her feel good.

_[13:03]PoLAPush:_ D:

_[13:03]PoLAPush:_ EEEEWWWWW!!!!

_[13:03]Law_breaker:_ I DID NOT SAY THAT!!

_[13:04]BBanger246:_ Whatever, and you called ME the lieing sack of bone. Shame on you

_BBanger246 signed off_

_[13:04]PoLAPush:_ I HOPE YOU DIE!!!!_[13:04]Law_breaker:_ LEAH WAIT!

_PoLAPush signed off_

_[13:04]Law_breaker:_ …

_[13:05]Law_breaker:_ aw damn


	2. Chapter 2

The IM with Wolves?

Chatlog 2

BBanger246- Jacob

Total_innocence- Seth

PoLAPush- Leah

Law-breaker- Sam

Dude-wheres-my-car- Quil

Leahsabtch- Paul

Shoot2kill- Embry

Fdonuts- Jared

Guest Starring:

Ifeelpretty- Alice

Edward_Cullen- duh

hottest_dr- Carlisle

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_BBanger246 signed on_

_Total_innocence signed on_

_Dude-wheres-my-car signed on_

_[7:56]_BBanger246: Hey how B U doin?

_[7:56]_Dude-wheres-my-car: B doin swank-a'doodles, joo?

_[7:57]_BBanger246: swank-a'doodles huh? is that like...tar-tar lingo for I'm fine, and you?

_[7:57]_Dude-wheres-my-car: xD

_[7:57]_Dude-wheres-my-car: TAR TAR SAUCE! Tastes good on fish! :D

_[7:57]_BBanger246: Lmfao! nice 1

_[7:58]_BBanger246: ...

_[7:58]_BBanger246: dude y Seth B not talking?

_[7:58]_Dude-wheres-my-car: Scamming on guys

_[7:58]_BBanger246: lol

_[7:59]_Total_innocence: STFU! Jesus! Its called conference

_[7:59]_Dude-wheres-my-car: ok ok

_[7:59]_Dude-wheres-my-car: Get yer panties out of a bundle!

_[7:59]_BBanger246: lmfao!

_[8:00]_BBanger246: xD

_[8:00]_BBanger246: rofl!

_[8:00]_Dude-wheres-my-car: Lol, what is so funny?

_[8:01]_BBanger246: I just imagined Seth in pink panties :D

_[8:01]_Dude-wheres-my-car: OMFG! Waz he haut?

_[8:01]_Total_innocence: U guys r fags

_[8:01]_BBanger246: oh yeah! :D

_[8:02]_BBanger246: he looked like Paris Hilton

_[8:02]_BBanger246: minus the bewbs and the blonde hair, and he had darker skin..

_[8:02]_Dude-wheres-my-car: U mean - everything that made her her right?

_[8:02]_BBanger246: Yeah :D

_[8:03]_Dude-wheres-my-car: lol

_[8:03]_Dude-wheres-my-car: So what did that leave you wid?

_[8:03]_BBanger246: Seth O.O

_[8:03]_Dude-wheres-my-car: lmfao!

_[8:03]_Total_innocence: U guys suck

_[8:04]_Total_innocence: I'm goin' back 2 talkin' 2 people who rn't fags now.

_[8:04]_BBanger246: Seth the pope is Catholic, and yer a little boy...

_[8:04]_Dude-wheres-my-car: xD

_[8:04]_BBanger246: which means he's a fag

_[8:04]_Dude-wheres-my-car: LMFAO!

_[8:05]_Dude-wheres-my-car: xD xD xD!!

_[8:05]_BBanger246: lol

_[8:05]_Dude-wheres-my-car: omg omg omg omg omg!

_[8:05]_BBanger246: Calm down Quilly-poo

_[8:05]_BBanger246: twasn't that funny

_[8:05]_BBanger246: lol

_[8:06]_Total_innocence: wasn't funny at all

_[8:06]_Dude-wheres-my-car: only cause yer the butt of the joke ;D

_[8:06]_Total_innocence: -.-

_[8:06]_Total_innocence: I hate U both

_[8:06]_Total_innocence: so much

_[8:06]_BBanger246: Liar

_[8:06]_BBanger246: U want to see us naked

_[8:06]_BBanger246: on top of each other

_[8:06]_BBanger246: screwing

_[8:07]_Total_innocence: o

_[8:07]_Total_innocence: JAKE!

_[8:07]_Total_innocence: Stop it!

_[8:07]_BBanger246: Y?

_[8:07]_Total_innocence: Cuz I imagined it! Dx

_[8:07]_BBanger246: lol

_[8:07]_BBanger246: waz it haut?

_[8:07]_Total_innocence: JAKE!

_[8:08]_BBanger246: lol

_[8:08]_Dude-wheres-my-car: I just red over everything wii sent

_[8:08]_Dude-wheres-my-car: we sound like homos

_[8:08]_BBanger246: lol

_[8:08]_Total_innocence: C! I told U!

_[8:08]_Dude-wheres-my-car: especially Seth

_[8:08]_Total_innocence: D:

_[8:08]_BBanger246: xD

_[8:08]_Total_innocence: WHAT!

_[8:08]_BBanger246: lol I knew it

_[8:08]_Total_innocence: HOW?

_[8:09]_Dude-wheres-my-car: U just do squeezy cheese ;D

_[8:09]_Total_innocence: I hate U!

_[8:09]_BBanger246: lol!

_[8:09]_BBanger246: luv ya 2 :D

_[8:09]_Dude-wheres-my-car: lol

_[8:09]_Total_innocence: -.-

_[8:09]_BBanger246: any who

_[8:09]_BBanger246: who u talkin' 2

_[8:09]_BBanger246: ?

_[8:09]_Total_innocence: yer mom

_[8:09]_BBanger246: coolio

_[8:09]_BBanger246: tell her I said I want a sandwich

_[8:10]_Dude-wheres-my-car: lmfao

_[8:10]_Total_innocence: jerk wad

_[8:10]_Total_innocence: talkin' 2 the Cullen's

_[8:10]_BBanger246: :(

_[8:10]_Total_innocence: ...

_[8:10]_Total_innocence: What?

_[8:10]_BBanger246: Tell Edward I want a sandwich...

_[8:10]_BBanger246: and tell him 2 tell Carlisle I want his women...

_[8:10]_BBanger246: washed, and not dried :D

_[8:11]_Dude-wheres-my-car: lmfao

_[8:11]_Total_innocence: What does this look like?

_[8:11]_Total_innocence: Burger king?

_[8:11]_BBanger246: No pickles

_[8:11]_Dude-wheres-my-car: xD

_[8:11]_BBanger246: lol

_[8:11]_Total_innocence: omg! xD

_[8:11]_Total_innocence: ur an ass!

_[8:11]_BBanger246: lol

_[8:11]_BBanger246: so?

_[8:11]_Dude-wheres-my-car: xD

_[8:12]_BBanger246: Tell them 2 join the convo

_[8:12]_Total_innocence: srsly?

_[8:12]_BBanger246: na!

_[8:12]_BBanger246: I'm gonna lie 2 u Seth!  
_[8:12]_BBanger246: Dun't listen!

_[8:12]_Dude-wheres-my-car: xD

_[8:12]_Total_innocence: Fine

_[8:12]_Total_innocence: Give me a min butt munch!

_[8:12]_BBanger246: ok you goat sniffing cheese cracker!

_[8:12]_Dude-wheres-my-car:

_Dude-wheres-my-car signed off_

_Dude-wheres-my-car signed on_

_BBanger246 signed off_

_BBanger246 signed on_

_PoLAPush signed on_

_BBanger246 signed off_

_Dude-wheres-my-car signed off_

_PoLAPush signed off_

_BBanger246 signed on_

_Dude-wheres-my-car signed on_

_[9:23]_BBanger246: Is it safe?

_[9:23]_Dude-wheres-my-car: yuh, Leah's not on

_PoLAPush signed on_

_[9:23]_BBanger246: SHIT!

_BBanger246 signed off_

_Dude-wheres-my-car signed off_

_[9;23]_PoLAPush: U GUYS SUCK!

_PoLAPush signed off_

_BBanger246 signed on_

_Dude-wheres-my-car signed on_

_[10:26]_BBanger246: Where the hell is he!

_[10:26]_Total_innocence: kk

_[10:26]_Total_innocence: back

_[10:26]_BBanger246: BOUT FREAKING TIME!

_[10:26]_BBanger246: Ur sister signed on!

_[10:26]_Dude-wheres-my-car: It was awful O.O

_[10:26]_Total_innocence: srry

_[10:26]_Total_innocence: had some Physical problems

_[10:26]_BBanger246: Slam ur weiner in the toilet seat?

_[10:26]_Dude-wheres-my-car: must B lockable toilet seat then

_[10:26]_BBanger246: I do it 2

_[10:26]_BBanger246: It gets biger when U's a wulf

_[10:27]_Total_innocence: I noticed

_[10:27]_Total_innocence: but that isn't de prob.

_[10:27]_BBanger246: that white stuff is normal

_[10:27]_Total_innocence: what?

_[10:27]_BBanger246: U were jerking it and white stuff came out

_[10:27]_BBanger246: its supposed 2

_[10:27]_BBanger246: its called Jizz

_[10:27]_Total_innocence: O.O;

_[10:28]_Total_innocence: Jake

_[10:28]_BBanger246: huh?

_[10:28]_Total_innocence: it's called an asylum

_[10:28]_Total_innocence: they have people just like you there

_[10:28]_Total_innocence: You'll make many new friends

_[10:29]_Dude-wheres-my-car: xD

_[10:29]_BBanger246: lol

_Ifeelpretty joined the Conference_

_Edward_Cullen joined the conference_

_hottest_dr joined the conference_

_[10:29]_BBanger246: Let's C

_[10:29]_BBanger246: Alice is Ifeelpretty

_[10:29]_BBanger246: Carlisle is hottest_dr

_[10:29]_BBanger246: But I'm having trouble guessing who Edward_Cullen is

_[10:29]_Ifeelpretty: lmfao

_[10:29]_Edward_Cullen: It's Edward

_[10:29]_BBanger246: Can't you hear the sarcasm?

_[10:30]_Ifeelpretty: xD!

_[10:30]_Dude-wheres-my-car: lol, Jake

_[10:30]_Edward_Cullen: I can't hear anything.

_[10:30]_Ifeelpretty: xD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_[10:30]_Dude-wheres-my-car: ROFL!!

_[10:30]_BBanger246: OMG!

_[10:30]_hottest_dr: Edward

_[10:30]_Edward_Cullen: What?

_[10:30]_hottest_dr: He's being a smart ass

_[10:30]_BBanger246: LMFAO

_[10:31]_Edward_Cullen: BBanger? Bella Banger huh?

_[10:31]_hottest_dr: O.O

_[10:31]_Ifeelpretty: O.O

_[10:31]_Dude-wheres-my-car: O.O

_[10:31]_Total_innocence: o.O

_[10:31]_BBanger246: No dipswitch

_[10:31]_BBanger246: I made this account B4 Bella moved here.

_[10:31]_BBanger246: Billy Black Anger jack off

_[10:31]_Edward_Cullen: No need to get angry with me Jacob, it was just a simple, honest, harmless question. There is really no need to get all huffy with me over some IM chat now is there?

_[10:31]_BBanger246: You forgot ur heading dingle balls

_[10:31]_Edward_Cullen: What ever do you mean Jacob? I have no clue what you're talking about.

_[10:31]_BBanger246: we r on a Chat site

_[10:31]_BBanger246: And ur typin' like ur writn' an essay.

_[10:31]_BBanger246: abreviate

_[10:32]_Edward_Cullen: How about I type the way I want to, and you can type in words we have to guess at. Alright? Sound fair enough?

_[10:32]_BBanger246: KKHSBDUKWIW IBT? THTGO

_[10:32]_BBanger246: N

_[10:32]_Edward_Cullen: uh...

_[10:32]_Total_innocence: Jake

_[10:32]_Total_innocence: We understood nothing of that

_[10:32]_Ifeelpretty: I DID! :D

_[10:32]_Ifeelpretty: KK Home skillet B Dog U know what I want! Is Bella there? Tell her to get on

_[10:32]_Ifeelpretty: Now!

_[10:32]_Ifeelpretty: :D

_[10:32]_BBanger246: Damn

_[10:32]_BBanger246: Never mind.

_[10:32]_BBanger246: Alice will U marry me?

_[10:32]_Ifeelpretty: Srry :(

_[10:32]_Ifeelpretty: I got Jasper

_[10:33]_BBanger246: ok

_[10:33]_BBanger246: Alice, will U sleep with me?

_[10:33]_Edward_Cullen: Ingrate!

_[10:33]_BBanger246: STFU! If I waz askin' U I'd look at U and B like...

_[10:33]_BBanger246: Dipshit! Sleep wid me!

_[10:33]_Edward_Cullen: Mongrel!

_[10:33]_BBanger246: Low fat Vanilla Yogurt!

_[10:33]_Ifeelpretty: ...

_[10:33]_Total_innocence: Jake

_[10:33]_Total_innocence: What the hell kind of come back is that?

_[10:33]_BBanger246: I hate low fat Vanilla Yogurt O.O

_[10:33]_BBanger246: It taste like sweaty balls

_[10:33]_Edward_Cullen: Only you would know, wouldn't you?

_[10:34]_BBanger246: Yep

_[10:34]_BBanger246: Jerk and lick

_Dude-wheres-my-car signed off_

_[10:34]_Ifeelpretty: EEWWW!!

_[10:34]_BBanger246: I wasn't talkin' about that!

_[10:34]_BBanger246: God you leeches are gross!

_[10:39]_BBanger246: Carlisle

_[10:40]_hottest_dr: hmm?

_[10:40]_BBanger246: Make luv to me

_[10:40]_hottest_dr: O.O

_[10:40]_hottest_dr: Gee I'd love to but I have 2 get 2 work

_[10:40]_hottest_dr: bai!

_hottest_dr signed off_

_Total_innocence signed off_

_Edward_Cullen signed off_

_[10:40]_BBanger246: lmfao

_[10:40]_BBanger246: freaks

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: Jake?

_[10:41]_BBanger246: Oh Alice ur still on

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: yuh

_[10:41]_BBanger246: what's up?

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: ...

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: how long did it take last night?

_[10:41]_BBanger246: O.O

_[10:41]_BBanger246: How long did what take!?!?!?

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: Well...

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: Edward was up reading people's minds last night and he stopped on urs

_[10:41]_BBanger246: uh...

_[10:41]_BBanger246: What time? O.O;;;

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: about four AM

_[10:41]_BBanger246: Oh god

_[10:41]_BBanger246: What did he hear?

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: A lot of moaning

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: A lot of confusion

_[10:41]_Ifeelpretty: All together a lot of sick things

_[10:42]_BBanger246: yeah...

_[10:42]_BBanger246: About five hours

_[10:42]_Ifeelpretty: Ok

_[10:42]_BBanger246: why?

_[10:42]_Ifeelpretty: I want 2 give him a heads up so he doesn't get scarred again

_[10:42]_BBanger246: I c

_[10:42]_BBanger246: I usually start about 2

_[10:42]_BBanger246: tell him that

_[10:42]_Ifeelpretty: I will

_[10:42]_BBanger246: how bad did it scar him?

_[10:42]_Ifeelpretty: he dry cried all night

_[10:42]_Ifeelpretty: Bella waz trying 2 get juicy details from him inconspicuously

_[10:43]_BBanger246: Ah

_[10:43]_BBanger246: Bella's a sick little puppy

_[10:43]_Ifeelpretty: yuh

_[10:56]_Ifeelpretty: Can I come over?

_[10:56]_BBanger246: What!?

_[10:56]_Ifeelpretty: Can I come over?

_[10:56]_BBanger246: Why?!?!

_[10:56]_Ifeelpretty: My mannequin is broken and I need a tall, thin figure for this dress

_[10:56]_BBanger246: O.O;;;

_[10:56]_BBanger246: I'm kinda...messy right now

_[10:56]_Ifeelpretty: I don't care

_[10:56]_BBanger246: No I'm MESSY right now!

_[10:56]_BBanger246: as in house and body

_[10:56]_BBanger246: and room

_[10:56]_Ifeelpretty: well pack it back

_[10:56]_Ifeelpretty: take a shower

_[10:57]_Ifeelpretty: and I'll help you clean ur pig pen

_[10:57]_BBanger246: :(

_[10:57]_BBanger246: U'd do that

_[10:57]_BBanger246: for me?

_[10:57]_BBanger246: I LUV U!

_[10:57]_Ifeelpretty: ^o^

_[10:57]_BBanger246: Just let me wipe up here and I'll go

_[10:57]_Ifeelpretty: that's sick

_[10:57]_BBanger246: lol

_[10:57]_BBanger246: ur the 1 who wants to come over

_[10:58]_Ifeelpretty: beat it with a hammer

_[10:58]_BBanger246: :O

_BBanger246 signed off_

_[10:58]_Ifeelpretty: lol


	3. Chapter 3

The IM with Wolves?

Chatlog 3

BBanger246- Jacob

Total_innocence- Seth

PoLAPush- Leah

Law-breaker- Sam

Dude-wheres-my-car- Quil

Leahsabtch- Paul

Shoot2kill- Embry

Fdonuts- Jared

Guest Starring:

hottest_dr- Carlisle

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Total_innocence signed on_

_[12:34]_Total_innocence: Damn

_[12:34]_Total_innocence: 1st time in 4ever this conf. waz bare

_hottest_dr joined conference_

_[12:34]_Total_innocence: yay!

_[12:34]_Total_innocence: Carlisle!

_[12:34]_hottest_dr: Lol

_[12:34]_hottest_dr: hi

_Shoot2kill signed on_

_[12:34]_hottest_dr: who is that?

_[12:34]_Total_innocence: Embry

_[12:34]_Shoot2kill: U 2 sound happy 2 c me

_[12:35]_hottest_dr: how r you doing Embry?

_[12:35]_Shoot2kill: fine

_[12:35]_hottest_dr: that's good

_[12:35]_hottest_dr: :)

_[12:35]_Shoot2kill: O.O

_[12:35]_Shoot2kill: o.O

_[12:35]_Shoot2kill: O.o

_[12:35]_Shoot2kill: o.o

_[12:35]_Shoot2kill: ...

_[12:35]_hottest_dr: what's wrong?

_[12:35]_Shoot2kill: ur not gonna eat me r u?

_[12:36]_Total_innocence: lol

_[12:36]_hottest_dr: lol no

_[12:36]_Shoot2kill: not yet right?

_[12:36]_hottest_dr: never

_[12:36]_hottest_dr: I don't eat junk food ;)

_[12:36]_Shoot2kill: O.O

_[12:36]_Shoot2kill: o.O

_[12:37]_Shoot2kill: O.o

_[12:37]_Shoot2kill: o.o

_[12:37]_Shoot2kill: ...

_[12:37]_hottest_dr: ???

_[12:37]_Shoot2kill: Ur not gonna have sex with me

_[12:37]_Shoot2kill: r u?

_hottest_dr left conference_

_[12:37]_Total_innocence: -.-

_[12:37]_Shoot2kill: What'd I say?

_[12:37]_Total_innocence: ur almost as bad as Jak

_[12:37]_Total_innocence: Jake*

_[12:37]_Shoot2kill: Total_innocence?

_[12:37]_Shoot2kill: ...

_[12:38]_Shoot2kill: r u scamming on guys?

_Total_innocence signed off_


	4. Chapter 4

The IM with Wolves?

Chatlog 4

BBanger246- Jacob

Total_innocence- Seth

PoLAPush- Leah

Law-breaker- Sam

Dude-wheres-my-car- Quil

Leahsabtch- Paul

Shoot2kill- Embry

Fdonuts- Jared

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Fdonuts signed on_

_Law-breaker signed on_

_PoLAPush signed on_

_Fdonuts signed off_

_Law-breaker signed off_

_BBanger246 signed on_

_[23:02]_PoLAPush: JAKE!

_[23:02]_BBanger246: Jake? I don't c any Jake

_[23:02]_BBanger246: U have the wrong person!

_[23:02]_PoLAPush: Pls! I need help!

_[23:02]_BBanger246: mentally or physically?

_[23:02]_PoLAPush: Physically

_[23:02]_BBanger246: srry

_[23:02]_BBanger246: I'm gay

_[23:03]_PoLAPush: Jake!!!!

_[23:03]_PoLAPush: pls I'm in a lot of pain here!

_[23:03]_BBanger246: what happned?

_[23:03]_PoLAPush: I shot myself

_[23:03]_BBanger246: :D

_[23:03]_BBanger246: I mean! D:

_[23:03]_PoLAPush: UR SUCH A JERK!

_[23:03]_BBanger246: NO I REALLY MEANT!!!!! D:

_[23:03]_PoLAPush: I'm dieing and ur laughing at me!

_[23:04]_BBanger246: where the hell did u shoot urself?!?!

_[23:03]_PoLAPush: in the leg

_[23:04]_BBanger246: now the better question

_[23:04]_BBanger246: how the F**K did u manage that!?!

_[23:04]_PoLAPush: I was playing with a gun I thought was empty

_[23:04]_BBanger246: yep

_[23:04]_BBanger246: sounds like a Clearwater thing

_[23:04]_PoLAPush: Jake stop insulting me!

_[23:04]_BBanger246: SRRY!

_[23:04]_BBanger246: just take the bullet out and let it heal

_[23:04]_BBanger246: Simple enough?

_[23:04]_PoLAPush: the bullet IS out and it's NOT healing

_[23:04]_BBanger246: D:

_[23:05]_BBanger246: how the F**k

_[23:05]_BBanger246: Ok

_[23:05]_BBanger246: how much blood u losin?

_[23:05]_PoLAPush: uh

_[23:05]_PoLAPush: 5 towels r sopping wet and I feel woozy

_[23:05]_BBanger246: Damn it!

_[23:05]_BBanger246: only u can manage this!

_[23:05]_BBanger246: y don't u call the hosp.?

_[23:05]_PoLAPush: Seth broke the phone

_[23:05]_BBanger246: run 2 the hospital

_[23:05]_PoLAPush: I can't stand

_[23:05]_BBanger246: turn

_[23:06]_PoLAPush: use ur head Jake!

_[23:06]_PoLAPush: pls help me!

_[23:06]_BBanger246: ah S***

_[23:06]_BBanger246: ummm

_[23:06]_BBanger246: how far the bullet go through?

_[23:06]_PoLAPush: through my leg, through the floor, through the hot water heater pipe

_[23:06]_BBanger246: O.O

_[23:06]_BBanger246: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SHOOT URSELF WITH!!!!!  
_[23:06]_BBanger246: A CANNON?

_[23:07]_PoLAPush: Idk what type of gun it is Jake!

_[23:07]_PoLAPush: it was my fathers!

_[23:07]_BBanger246: O.O

_[23:07]_BBanger246: WHAT!

_[23:07]_BBanger246: U shot urself with a Harry gun!

_[23:07]_BBanger246: Freaking retard!

_[23:07]_BBanger246: I'll be right over

_BBanger246 signed off_

_[23:08]_PoLAPush: Jake?

_[23:08]_PoLAPush: Jake I was kidding!

_PoLAPush signed off_

_Total_innocence signed on_

_Fdonuts signed on_

_[23:43]_Total_innocence: LMFAO

_[23:43]_Fdonuts: what?

_[23:43]_Total_innocence: Leah played a joke on Jake sayin' she shot herself and I broke the phone and crap so he rushed over here and she was all like "I was just kidding Jacob" And he got all pissed off and went down in the cellar, grabbed a gun, shot her in the leg and brought her to the hospital! It was freaking hilarious!

_[23:43]_Fdonuts: lol

_[23:43]_Fdonuts: nice

_BBanger246 signed on_

_[23:43]_Fdonuts: Jake! I heard the story :D

_[23:44]_BBanger246: Did u hear about me slammin her face off the dash board and droppin her down the stairs and wrenching the wound open so it wouldn't heal before we got inside?

_[23:44]_Fdonuts: O.O

_[23:44]_Fdonuts: No

_[23:44]_BBanger246: well now u know

_[23:44]_Total_innocence: a little far don't u think Jake?

_[23:44]_BBanger246: nope

_BBanger246 signed off_

_[23:44]_Total_innocence: O.O

_[23:44]_Fdonuts: I'm goin' to bed

_[23:44]_Fdonuts: nite kiddo

_Fdonuts signed off_

_[23:45]_Total_innocence: O.O

_[23:45]_Total_innocence: I'm surrounded by psychos


	5. Chapter 5

The IM with Wolves?

Chatlog 4

BBanger246- Jacob

Total_innocence- Seth

PoLAPush- Leah

Law-breaker- Sam

Dude-wheres-my-car- Quil

Leahsabtch- Paul

Shoot2kill- Embry

Fdonuts- Jared

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Total_innocence signed on_

_BBanger246 signed on_

_[13:27]_Total_innocence: Hi Jake :D

_[13:27]_BBanger246: what up?

_[13:27]_Total_innocence: bored

_[13:27]_BBanger246: cool

_[13:32]_Total_innocence: hey

_[13:32]_BBanger246: huh?

_[13:32]_Total_innocence: I just did something out of complete boredom

_[13:32]_BBanger246: huh?

_[13:32]_Total_innocence: well

_[13:32]_Total_innocence: I was in the kitchen

_[13:32]_Total_innocence: getting something 2 eat when I saw that Leah had a foot long Glazier hotdog :D

_[13:32]_BBanger246: OMG! Those things r awesome!

_[13:32]_Total_innocence: I know! So I ate it on her! XD

_[13:32]_BBanger246: lol

_[13:33]_Total_innocence: but before I did that

_[13:33]_Total_innocence: I wanted 2 see something 1st

_[13:33]_BBanger246: what waz that?

_[13:33]_Total_innocence: I wanted 2 c how far I could stick it down my throat

_[13:33]_Total_innocence: and I got a whopping 9 1/2 inches!

_[13:33]_BBanger246: O.O

_[13:33]_Total_innocence: isn't that awesome! :D

_[13:33]_BBanger246: uh

_[13:33]_BBanger246: sure

_[13:33]_BBanger246: no wonder Edward likes u

_[13:34]_Total_innocence: what do u mean by that? :(

_[13:34]_BBanger246: Seth

_[13:34]_BBanger246: u just said u stuck a foot long hotdog 9 1/2 inches down the back of ur throat

_[13:34]_Total_innocence: yuh

_[13:34]_BBanger246: and I'm pretty sure Edward has 1 close 2 that size.

_[13:34]_Total_innocence: JAKE!

_[13:34]_BBanger246: I'm just sayin!

_[13:34]_BBanger246: I wouldn't brag about that

_[13:34]_BBanger246: at least not out loud O.O

_[13:34]_Total_innocence: Y r u being a jackass?

_[13:34]_BBanger246: I'm not!

_[13:34]_BBanger246: Just sayin' u runnin' around tellin people u can stick foot long meaty objects 9 1/2 inches down ur throat is gonna cause some concern and doubts to ur sexuality.

_[13:34]_Total_innocence: maybe 2 u jackass!

_Law-breaker signed on_

_[13:34]_BBanger246: we'll c

_[13:35]_BBanger246: Sam!

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: What's up?

_[13:35]_BBanger246: Seth stuck a foot long glazier hotdog 9 1/3 inches down his throat

_[13:35]_BBanger246: 9 1/2*

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: O.O

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: was he eating it or was he sucking it?

_[13:35]_BBanger246: he was bored

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: O.O

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: Seth am I gonna have 2 put a restraining order on the Cullen's? Cuz if ur gonna b doing that stuff then going over there...

_[13:35]_Total_innocence: they rn't doing anything 2 me!

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: u can nvr b 2 careful Seth

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: I mean with Edward reading minds and all

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: what if he read about u sticking that hotdog down ur throat and told the others?

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: What if they all got froggy 1 night and decided 2 have their way with u?

_[13:35]_Total_innocence: they won't Sam

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: what if they do?

_[13:35]_Total_innocence: I'll tell them Jake lasts longer and he's a lot tighter than me

_[13:35]_Total_innocence: plus Edward would like 2 hurt him

_[13:35]_BBanger246: D:

_[13:35]_BBanger246: Oh no u don't!

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: hmmm

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: kk I c ur safe

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: now Jake, I'd be careful if I were u

_BBanger246 signed off_

_[13:35]_Law-breaker: I take it he's afraid

_[13:36]_Total_innocence: lol

_[13:36]_Total_innocence: gtg Leah came home

_[13:36]_Total_innocence: got 2 get out b4 she finds I 8 her hotdog


	6. Chapter 6

The IM with Wolves?

Chatlog 6

BBanger246- Jacob

Total_innocence- Seth

PoLAPush- Leah

Law-breaker- Sam

Dude-wheres-my-car- Quil

Leahsabtch- Paul

Shoot2kill- Embry

Fdonuts- Jared

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_BBanger246 signed on  
Total_innocence signed on_

_[05:30]BBanger246:_ Hiya tick turd :D  
_[05:30]Total_innocence:_ Hey Jake  
_[05:30]BBanger246: _Wow some 1's a b*ch 2day  
_[05:30]Total_innocence: _haha  
_[05:30]Total_innocence: _In case u haven't noticed...  
_[05:30]Total_innocence: _it's 5:30 in the morning  
_[05:30]BBanger246: _....  
_[05:30]BBanger246: _Nope, haven't noticed  
_[05:30]Total_innocence: _*sighs* Clueless idiot  
_[05:31]BBanger246: _*Touches ur leg softly, rubbing ur thighs hoping to get you excited*  
_[05:31]Total_innocence:_ D:  
_[05:31]Total_innocence: _JAKE! WTH!  
_[05:31]BBanger246:_ I though we waz rping  
_[05:31]BBanger246: _I mean u did the ** so I thought we waz rping  
_[05:31]BBanger246: _U waz u and I was Edward  
_[05:31]Total_innocence: _OMG!  
_[05:31]Total_innocence: _Jake u piss me off!  
_[05:31]BBanger246: _*punches Jake in the nuts but stops to cop a feel cuz every 1 knows I'm secretly gay*  
_[05:32]Total_innocence: _No, the only gay 1 here is u Jake  
_[05:32]BBanger246: _Oh no! Sethy poo knows my secret!  
_[05:32]BBanger246: _And for some odd reason I'm magically not giving a crap  
_[05:32]Total_innocence: _b'cuz ur used to being called gay  
_[05:32]BBanger246: _Seth  
_[05:32]BBanger246: _Can I let u in on a little secret of mine??  
_[05:32]Total_innocence: _-.-  
_[05:32]Total_innocence: _No  
_[05:32]BBanger246: _OH PLZ!  
_[05:32]BBanger246: _IT'LL KILL ME IF I DON'T ADMIT IT 2 U!  
_[05:33]Total_innocence: _Good  
_[05:33]Total_innocence: _Maybe then everything will b quieter  
_[05:33]Banger246: _Pfft  
_[05:33]Banger246: _rot in hell 4 all I care

_BBange246 signed off_

_[05:33]Total_innocence: _fag muffin  
_[06:33]Total_innocence: _COME ON JAKE! I NEED 2 ASK U SOMETHING!!  
_[06:33]Banger246 (appears to be offline): _I waz wonderin when u was gonna snap  
_[06:33]Total_innocence: _O.O  
_[06:33]Total_innocence: _U were online this WHOLE TIME!?!?  
_[06:33]Banger246 (appears to be offline): _Yuh :D

_BBanger246 signed on_

_[06:33]Banger246: _I waz invisible  
_[06:33]Banger246: _Like Leah's common sense  
_[06:33]Banger246: _And I won't let u ask until u let me tell u my secret  
_[06:33]Total_innocence: _Fine  
_[06:33]Total_innocence: _waz it u or Embry who borrowed my gym shoes??  
_[06:33]Banger246: _Emmy  
_[06:34]Total_innocence: _Ah, kk  
_[06:34]Total_innocence: _Now ur secret -.-  
_[06:34]Banger246: _:D  
_[06:34]Banger246: _When u run across the gym in them short shorts I can't help but think to myself  
_[06:34]Banger246: _"god that kid haz a sweet ass"  
_[06:34]Total_innocence: _OoO;;;  
_[06:34]Banger246: _I get so haut when I watch u  
_[06:34]Banger246: _I humped ur book bag and smelt ur jeans in the locker room  
_[06:34]Banger246:_ also  
_[06:34]Banger246: _I stuck my willy in ur mouth when u waz sleeping a week ago  
_[06:34]Banger246: _U know when I spent the night at ur house?

_Total_innocence signed off_

_[06:34]Banger246: _lmfao  
_[06:34]Banger246: _Poor freaking kid :D


End file.
